Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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