I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize