yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
