I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
