I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
