she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize