he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
