Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
