The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
