the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
