I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm really busy with my period
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