Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
