I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
