I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
