he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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