Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Floor bacon is actually really good
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
