You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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