Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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