all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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