I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
