i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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