Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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