He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
