hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
