So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
