she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
thus making me awesome and them whores
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize