I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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