Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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