Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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