I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize