Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize