It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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