How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
