you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
