My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
