guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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