your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
