Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize