i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
