I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
