WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
