but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She announced her abortion via fbk
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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