Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
