He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
