the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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