Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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