just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
