Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
try to milk me bitch
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