Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize