its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Randomize
