I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
