i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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