I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
