My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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